No More Figurative Rain, Please

You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours?" Well, over the past four years I have gotten to know this saying very well, especially this semester. Like most people, I have experienced some pretty hard times before, and have lost some wonderful people in my life. Although I am familiar with heartbreak and death, it still never gets any easier.

Since 2007, when I decided to go to college, I have had endless trials and stress come my way. With love and support of friends and family I have managed to get through thus far. However, this semester has been one of the most trying that I have yet to experience. I have struggled with my health and with balancing motherhood and marriage on top of maintaining my GPA. Although I have had some rough times, this week has topped them all.

Monday afternoon, after discovering that it is quite likely that I could graduate this May afterall, my world was rocked with the dramatic news that my brother is really sick. At first his doctor was convinced it was appendicitis and a CT scan showed that he also had a serious infection that needed to be taken care of immediately. After three hours in surgery, my family started to realize that this wasn't your usual case of appendicitis. The surgeon informed my parents that what he was dealing with was not appendicitis at all. There was a large growth wrapped around my brother's appendix that had also attached itself to his back muscles and colon. The surgeon and his team had tried to remove the growth, but because it was also attached to a major artery, he could only remove so much.

The surgeon then informed my parents and my brother's wife that it was possible that this growth was cancerous, but he was not sure since he had never seen something like this before. The pathologist had taken several slides of the growth and it was being sent across the country for opinions from the surgeon's colleauges. In addition to this, it was also discovered that Aaron, my brother, also had a tumor on one of his kidneys.

We were all stunned. My brother is 31 years-old, and this was the last thing any of has had expected when they wheeled him into the operating room. Of course, the doctor said this was just the worst case scenario, but hearing those words would bring anyone to their knees.

My mom has spent this week being the main support for our family. My sister-in-law has been understandably hysterical through this whole event and has not been able to take care of their two kids, ages 2 and 7. My husband and I have been taking care of the kids in addition to our 1 year-old. Tuesday was the worst day for me because I was not able to go up to the hospital because children are not allowed in ICU, so I was stuck at home with Owen and my imagination, which usually gets me into trouble emotionally. My mom was busy at the hospital and informing the rest of the family about the situation, so I was not informed of the latest details until later that night. By then, I had completely lost my composure. I had not been able to see my brother and it was causing me to lose my mind.

I finally got to see my brother for a few minutes on Wednesday. He looks pretty good for a guy who just had major surgery. He is on a Demerol drip, so he was not able to stay awake very long. All I could do was stand in the corner of the room and stare at him. My brother has always been the big strong guy who rarely got sick. Seeing him in a hospital bed with a tube coming out of his nose was very shocking for me. I couldn't stop thinking of us as two rowdy kids.

Today the test results of his biopsy came back a day early. Turns out that the growth is thankfully not cancerous. It looks like he might have a severe case of Chron's disease, but we won't know for sure until some further testing can be done. He is still suspectible to other infections so these tests will not be able to be done for another week or so. The doctors do not want to prod around in his body anymore until he is completely healed. Which leads me to the tumor on his kidney. The surgeon believes it is benign, but also due to his infection, it will be a while before a biopsy can be done on that growth.

This week has been such an emotional roller coaster ride for all of us. It has been hard enough, as his sister, to experience the feelings I have been going through, so I cannot imagine what my mom and sister-in-law have been going through. The kids have been taken care of, and they are doing great. My nephew, who is 7, knows something is going on and has been asking a lot of questions. My brother has been moved out of ICU today, so hopefully we can get Bryson up there to see his daddy at some point. I can't stand seeing the worry on his little face.

Hopefully there will be no more surprises this semester. I am really close to running down the street screaming and tearing my hair out. I appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers that everyone has sent my family's way during this trying time. It is impossible to survive through tough times without support.